P is for Poem
The Man Hunt
My name is "Miss Matilda Ann"
And I am looking for a man.
He can be thin, fat, short or tall,
Size doesn't matter much at all.
It matters not what shade his hair
Or if there isn't any there.
As long as he is neat and kind
His looks I really do not mind.
Someone's who's there through thin and thick,
Who'll wash the dishes when I'm sick,
And when the winter snow is gone
He'll gladly help me mow the lawn.
He'll help me plant the garden seeds,
And even pull his share of weeds.
I'm sure I'd make a first class wife
And we would live a happy life.
With someone honest, kind and fair
My worldly goods I'll gladly share.
I had a friend, his name was Jim,
I really thought a lot of him.
I hoped he'd ask to marry me,
Then very happy we would be.
He called on me most every night,
We'd watch T.V., he'd hold me tight.
One night he said "Matilda Ann,
I'd really like to be your man.
If you consent to marry me
We'll live together happily."
I didn't know just what to say,
It sort of took my breath away.
But then I thought it would be best
To put him to a little test.
So I said:
"Jim, there's a mouse caught in the trap,
It's tail still has a little flap,
It makes me nervous as can be
Will you please take it out for me?
And there's some junk I wish you'd take
Out to the dump down by the lake.
Will you rid of it for me
Before we sit and watch T.V.?"
Then Jim said:
"But I have on a brand new shirt.
I don't want it all over dirt.
I really think Matilda Ann
That you should get a handy man.
I will not do each little task,
And you best learn not to ask."
Then I said, "Jim you'd better go!
The answer to your question's 'No!'
I really can not marry
If little chores you will not do.
If you can't do a little chore
Please don't come 'round here any more."
And as he left I heard him shout
"I'll take the mouse and garbage out!"
I shouted back "You're just too late!
And don't forget to close the gate."
I'm glad his lazy streak I found,
Don't want a lazy man around.
So now again I'm all alone,
No one at all to call my own.
I'm getting lonelier every day,
I want a man and right away.
Don't mind if over you I scan,
I'm only looking for a man.